Monday, March 27, 2006

PANAH BERDARAH WAKTU

Aku susuri denai ini
Buat sementara waktu
Kerna aku belum berada dipersimpangan
Walau aku sedar aku diperjalanan

Jiwaku perit dipanah-panah
Kerna kedegilanku untuk melawan fitrah dan tiupan angin
Aku ingin terus mengikut petunjuk hati
Yang jelas menyanggah norma-norma kebiasaan

Terhimpit diantara harapan dan cita-cita
Walau tersemat keyakinan dalam hidup
Aku juga orang biasa, mudah goyah pendirianku
Maka terus-terusanlah aku dihantui dua unsur bayang itu

Apapun, jauh didasar sana, aku ada kesedaran
Kesedaran yang menjurus aku kepada keyakinan dan kekuatan
Hanya semangat nan tekad sahaja
Dan juga masa dan waktu membatas
Yang mampu membawa aku ke tujuan itu
Ataupun aku masih di sini mengelamun
- 19 Mac 2006 @ ruang pejabat, pj

NAIK

Aku kini terjerut
Di alam dunia batu yang semakin menghimpit
Ruang yang ada semakin sempit, menyukarkan lagi sudut-sudut kehidupan fana ini
Bukan aku saja, tetapi juga mereke-mereka itu
Malahan lebih teruk adanya…

Mereka ini sama sepertiku
Menggadai berkorban demi kelangsungan hidup
Mereka teraniaya… namun mereka tiada upaya untuk bangkit melawan

Di sisi-sisi sempit dan gelap di sana
Ku lihat masih ada juga yang bersenang-lenang
Tidakkah mereka ini prihatin?
Prihatin terhadap kerakusan yang meragut segala sisi kehidupan orang-orang sekeliling mereka?

Kasihanilah mereka kalaupun kau membenciku
Belalah nasib mereka itu, kerana mereka tiada apa lagi untuk disandarkan

Kerana merekalah engkau di situ
Dan kerana mereka jugalah engkau mungkin termanggu..

Ya ALLAH ya tuhanku
Berilah petunjuk dan kekuatan kepada kami semua
Dalam menghadapi kebuntuan ini…

- 20 Mac 2006
@ ruang pejabat, pj

ALAM KABUT

Meniti alam-alam kabut
Dengan mata tertutup
Ku cuba melihat dengan mata hati dan fikiran
Tanpa ada sebarang kefahaman

Secalit itu ada petunjuknya
Tetapi diri terlalu daif untuk menafsirkannya
Maka tersadailah satu jiwa tanpa pengertian
Satu jiwa yang kosong longlai menjadi bangkai

Di tengah-tengah ketempangan hukum dunia
Pasrah dan terus juga mencari dan menduga
- 20 Mac 2006

"HEY SEMMI, APA SUDAH JADI?"

Suatu malam, di sebuah estet, saya terserempak dengan Semmi. Dia kawan lama, berasal pun dari estet itu juga. Masih kuat ingatan saya mengenangkan sikap kelam-kabut si Semmi. Tapi itu dulu. Namun, saya tetap khuatir dengan personaliti yang seorang ini. Manakan tidak, buatnya dia terbawa-bawa sikap lamanya dalam kedudukannya sekarang, habis! Dulu hanya ketua estet, tapi sekarang, dengan megah dan perasannya dia sudah menjawat kedudukan sebagai ketua eksekutif di firma Jambatan Kena Runtuh. Bukan kepalang!

“Hey Semmi, apa sudah jadi?”, sergah saya. Terkejut beruk buatnya si Semmi. Ketika itu, dia sedang menghirup kopi hitam panas, dekat kedai Ah Leong, bersebelahan semak tepi kubur. Dengan riak mukanya, ditambah dengan fesyen rambut atap meruncing, naik bedekah saya dibuatnya bila melihat. Berkerut seribu dahinya, terus nampak macam cipan! “Apa sudah jadi apa?”, dengan lantang Semmi membalas sergahan saya tadi. Dari aura pertuturannya, dapat dirasa yang dia tidak puas hati. Walaupun saya sendiri kurang pasti kenapa. Tiada langsung kemesraan diantara dua kawan lama ini. Pada firasat saya, dia sedang resah agaknya.

“Jangan marah la, saya tanya saja… Bukan apa, itu hari saya tengok you dalam tv, bagi nombor telefon apa pasal?” lanjut soalan saya. Mana taknya, pelik juga. Entah tersapa angin mana entah, keluar tv tersengeh-sengeh… lepas tu bagi nombor talifon. Ni nak publisiti murahan ke apa… Sekali imbas, macam orang sasau. Dua kali kilas, ambik kau… macam orang tua nyanyuk… Haha…

You jangan sindir-sindir I aa, you apa tau…” marah si jambul rata tu kepada saya. “Saya punya kerja, saya tau la…” tambahnya lagi. “Aik, dia pula yang marah kita.” Bisik benak saya. Sepatutnya kitalah yang marah dia. Sudahla projek jambatan, yang menjadi kebanggaan dia dulu dah bertukar menjadi mimpi ngeri sampai tak tidur malam. Boleh pulak buat kenyataan dalam paper yang hand phone dia rosak sebab orang ramai sangat yang hantar sms. Kalau iya pun nak klentong, selidiklah dulu. Orang sekarang ni bukannya bodoh macam dia. Siapa suruh bagi nombor talifon kat orang!

Ada sekali tu, dikatanya speaker Plolaris tak baca paper. Logikla si Plolaris tu tanya keputusan siasatan jambatan retak. Dahlah pakai duit orang, bayar pula kat mat salleh, lepas tu boleh pula nak nafikan hak orang yang nak tahu cerita sebenar. Biol betul. Sudahnya, dia yang macam anjing gila, berpusing-pusing dalam cakap-cakap dia sendiri. Dahlah cakap pun belit-belit, tak serupa bikin, ramai orang marah ooo…

“Ok, I tak sindir. Straight forwardYou ingat orang sekarang ni bodoh ke? You punya reason tu buat-buat saja, konon nak tunjuk yang you buat kerja. Memang betul you buat kerja, tapi cara you yang tak betul. Tapi bila ada ada problem, you kasi alasan budak-budak. Hey, orang sudah bijak pandaila. Sekejap you cakap lain, esok lain, hari lain lagi lain… orang banyak menyampah sama you tau! You punya salah, you kata orang punya salah Mula-mula bukan main you nafikan yang projek itu tarak problem, selamat… semua orang boleh guna. Yang I tak tahan, you lagi tau daripada pakar. Pakar kata jambatan rosak, bahaya… you selamba saja kata tak ada apa-apa. Apa punya orang you ini? Apa kata you sendiri lalu itu tempat hari-hari, baru you tau macam mana orang sabung nyawa. Cakap saja pandai!” Nah, bagai nak termuntah muka Semmi menadah peluru kata dari saya.

Terus terkedu Semmi dibuatnya. Ecece… dan-dan tu juga dia buat gaya berfikir. Harap-harap betul lah dia memikirkan kata-kata itu.

“Apa pasal, you ingat I makan rasuah ka?” soal Semmi balik. Bijak dia ni. Bijak belit-belit cakap orang. Saya tak kata dia rasuah, tapi dia yang cadangkan. Apa tandanya tu? Anda yang budiman sajalah pertimbangkan sendiri. Si Semmi ni mereng sikit, selalu nampak macam dah tak waras.

Ketika seronok tengok muka pahit Semmi masa itu, saya teringat juga satu insiden lain. Baru-baru itu juga, Semmi ni ada buat patung berhala besar dihalaman rumahnya. Saya Tanya juga, orang kampong tak bising ke, buat berhala besar-besar ni. Yalah, majoriti orang Islam, mana tau ada yang melenting.

Jawabnya ringkas; “Saya punya suka la. Tanah rumah saya ni saya sudah beli dari ketua kampong dulu. You apa kesah!” Hai… rasa macam nak lempang saja mulut si Semmi ni. Anda pernah tak tengok berhala tu? Besar betul, saya tak tipu. Senang-senang nanti cubalah lawat-lawat “istana” si Semmi ni, tengok sendiri macam mana dia berbangga dengan patung emas tersebut.

Saya memanjangkan lagi akal, lantas bertanya pula berkenaan pemilihan wakil estet puak-puak mereka. Saya ada terdengar, dah lama dah, yang penolong dia memang tak sebulu. Tapi jawapan Semmi saya dah boleh agak, mesti nak bangga diri punya. Tak payah tunggu dia jawab, saya jawab sendiri. Dia rasa dia masih lagi relevan dikalangan kaum dia, tu yang berani celupar. Dikatanya dia tak kisah langsung tentang cabaran penolongnya tu. Sekali memang betul pun, dia masih lagi kekal jadi ketua kaum untuk upacara solek diestet itu. Gasaklah Semmi, kau punya suka.

Otak saya masih lagi berputar-putar mencari topik perbualan seterusnya. Sekilas itu juga saya teringat tentang dapur rumah Semmi. “Eh, macam mana dengan you punya kebinet dapur? Jadi tukar ke?”soal saya. “Apa you merepek ni? Kabinet dapur saya mana ada orang boleh tukar. Itu banyak rahsia oo, sama itu kenangan lagi. Mana boleh tukar, tak siapa berani tukar pun. Nanti kalau saya rasa patut tukar, saya tukar sendirilah…” bebelnya kembali. Hati saya ketika itu bertambah berasap! Tapi, suka hatilah Semmi, kau punya untung badan.

Hisshh… menyampah pula terkenangkan si Semmi ni. Munkin dia dah lupa yang satu hari nanti kita semua akan mati. Tapi itulah, manusia ni ada macam-macam jenis. Bila ada kuasa sikit, mula lupa daratan, buat ikut suka hati dia saja! Semmi, Semmi… hiduplah semahu kau, Biarlah orang lain yang mati akibat dari tindakan kau! Seronoklah tu…

- 18 March 2006

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Health Care vs. Health Business

My attention was attracted by the cover headline which appears in Aliran Monthly’s magazine, issue 2005:Vol.26No.1. The wording is huge and clear, stated “Health or Money”. I come to realize, even before I grab the magazine, that this issue of health will and has become a central-core in our daily account.

I might not be in the right situation or position to talk about this issue. But I still want to share my point of view regarding this as we are… all of us actually, are bound directly and have a full responsibility of our own health. I am not trying to re-write what has been written in Aliran Monthly. In fact, I have no direct contact towards all the facts and figures to support me. What I have, in common, is only a thought of my own. It could be simplistic, childish or anything that might come across your mind.

I suggest that you refer to the stated magazine for details. At a glance through, here is more or less what they have to offer. In September 2005, our Ministry of Health had presented a new proposal towards our health policies for enhancement. The wrap-up is, if the proposal being approved, we are going to have what they call ‘The National Health Fund’. From my understanding, the mechanism is, more or less, just like what we already practicing for our fund in KWSP.

We will have a compulsory monthly contribution towards the funding. For sure, this will bring a very critical debate and should involve the public and should not being kept just as a close discussion. My concern here is, health in our ages has been a crucial for human living and also, on the other hand, a profitable trading in health industry. Here comes the question, is health should be seen as a deep hollow for those in health industry to dig money out of people or should it be seen as a moral aspect that it is everyone rights to have a better health treatment?

I left the question for you to answer. As for me, I saw it as a crisis. A crisis we are directly affected by, with or without our willingness. So how could we survive? In today’s living, our amount of expenses has been mounting. We are now being narrow down in life as the rapid and rigid changes took place in our environment.

We have to create the awareness starting from this point. We have to take charge of our own life, not the other elements around us. On the event of hiking prices, the rise of inflation, increase in cost of living and the manipulation of open market toward its customer is really worrying us. And now, when worse come to worse, we have to put our health issue into gamble!

Materialism is no longer can be put as a marking point of our prosperity life. We are now being strangled by the situation. Nowadays, even we earn quite a number of money; the value which can be attained for it is so little. The gap is much clearly seen from the lower income household. Beside, it is even worse when it comes to the poor. There is something should be done, and we are the one who should take action!

In our modern life, the tendency to be selfish is just right there in every corner. We are less living as a community but more in an individual context. If we let this to continue, it will suck our life one day. Change that! Now, take care of the people around you, your family, neighbors and community. Also, change the habit of our stubbornness and egoistic and start listen to some advice from other people. Be positive. Why can’t we share our wealth with some other people in need? Why we have to keep it for ourselves? How do we felt when one day we are the one who needed help?

These questions should be asked to ourselves. I am not urging you to do an exercise. I am not begging you to save money for yourself and I am not asking for your money here. It is too narrow. Without we know it, all such reaction imply to the picture of individualistic. And this is the thing that I wish to break in me. So do you.

From now onwards, let us provoke out mind and our thought. Start to think outside the interest of our own. There are so many people need our attention out there, but we just close our eyes. Many people could not afford the cost of medication.

How we could play our role? Before we get to the answer, let us think of one cliché phrase; prevention is better than cure. To prevent, we need to have the awareness. That’s it! No big deal, we have to create the awareness within ourselves first. In the era of the health capitalist is exploiting the issue to dig consumer’s money, we have to be clever enough to control it. Now health business is just like a shark waiting to bite the victims, we are all over-expose to this reality. It is hard to deal with a shark, but it is easier to deal with ourselves. These sharks are hunting our blood, or in equal, health business is hunting our money!

Now, we will see how this approach will work. First we are aware of this issue, than we apply a method to face it down (no need to mention the approach). Later, we exchange this reality with other people around us. Also we can start an open debate among our closes buddies. Of course it will cost time, but sooner or later it will affect the way we see our life.

If this phase works well, then our burden for the cure could slightly be lighter. We just need to put some effort on this, and then it will cost us less money.

After all, my concern is not on how to escape from health problem or whatsoever. My concern is how to create a society, with a high awareness among them and would take care of each other in any means. Health business is always there to rip us off, but it is only the collective forces that can balance the tidal wave.
– 14 Mac 2006